Question:
Sir my son has been married for a year now. From his childhood we have seen him as a very happy person who is extremely jovial and sociable. From the time he got married, I have noticed that he is under some form of psychological stress. Our daughter in law has all the qualities one could ask for. She is beautiful, highly educated, has a good career of her own, we thought in every way she could complement our son very well. Sadly, that was not meant to be. We have observed that any situation, big or small, she always tends to compete with him. She has serious issues when asked to perform any household chores and tends to argue over petty issues almost all the time. She compares herself with our son and expects equality in every petty thing. Initially we thought, maybe our presence isn’t giving them enough privacy and maybe because of that, the issues are cropping up, but that was not the case. Even after we moved out, they continued to argue and fight every morning. We have never seen her cook or do anything that is expected of a normal Indian married woman. Our son is deeply frustrated. These days, they don’t even sleep in the same room. They had courted each other for almost a year before they got married and I wonder why he failed to understand her! What started off as a fairy tale wedding has become a pain for him now. I have been your fan from the time you were a novelist. I also heard you practiced family law for a long time too… Please advise our son should divorce her…
Answer:
Mrs. S.K. I kind of get what you are trying to say. I am also sad to note that a person of your age and experience has to believe that the fault lies with your daughter in law alone and that your son has no role to play in this! Have you forgotten that you always require two hands to clap. According to me, the situation has not gone so out of control that you have to think of divorce for them. I see that one part of the major issue here is both of them have severe ego hassles. The other half however is more problematic. They have a problem is understandable, they are undergoing the initial hiccups in a marriage which is very common these days, but you as his parents are blowing this issue way too much out of proportion and magnifying it, which is also causing damage to their relationship. Involvement of third party, be it even parents, only causes deterioration in the marital relationship. If you ask me, I would say it’s not divorce that they need. With some professional help, they can resolves issues in their marital life and start living a happy married life, within just 15 days of marital counseling. So without any further delay, please stop imposing your ideas onto them and get them to see me. Good Luck.
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